77 quotes
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that shit.
Brain Droppings (1997)
One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're tired.
It's Bad for Ya (2008)
If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance.
Napalm and Silly Putty (2001)
It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
Napalm and Silly Putty (2001)
It's called the American Dream, 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it.
Life Is Worth Losing (2005)
Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004)
Have you noticed when you wear a hat for a long time it feels like it's not there anymore? And then when you take it off it feels like it's still there?
Napalm & Silly Putty (2001)
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
"Fussy eater" is a euphemism for "big pain in the ass".
A Place for My Stuff (1981)
If you scratch any cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist.
Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place, man? There's such balance in nature.
A Place for My Stuff (1981)
The piercing movement is off to a good start, and I like the idea behind it: self-esteem through self-mutilation. I've always said, when in doubt, punch a hole in yourself.
Brain Droppings (1997)
Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that.
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. Especially if it's me!
A Place for My Stuff (1981)
Here's some bumper stickers I'd like to see
Complaints and Grievances (2001)
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004)
Especially the fucking people! Have you seen some of the people in this country? Have you taken a good look at some of these big, fat motherfuckers walking around? Big fat motherfuckers! Oh, my God.
Life Is Worth Losing (2005)
An art thief is a man who takes pictures.
Napalm and Silly Putty (2001)