Misattributed quotes — George Carlin
1937–2008 United States
← All quotes by George Carlin
5 quotes
"Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body"
Misattributed
The Paradox of Our Time is one of many stories that has been forwarded around the internet and attributed to Carlin, but is actually by Bob Moorehead.
Misattributed
I am a Bad American is another mass-forwarded internet message often attributed to George Carlin, but was not written by him.
Misattributed
Various lists of humorous one-liners were forwarded through email in the 1990s, falsely attributed to George Carlin. Some of these one-liners included
Misattributed
"I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then... You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions – central heating, room service on tap, and then... You finish off as an orgasm."
Misattributed