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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

— George Carlin When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (2004)

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Women

More quotes by George Carlin

Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that shit.

Brain Droppings (1997)

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're tired.

It's Bad for Ya (2008)

If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance.

Napalm and Silly Putty (2001)

It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.

The future will soon be a thing of the past.

Napalm and Silly Putty (2001)

All George Carlin quotes →

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The worker is the slave of capitalist society, the female worker is the slave of that slave.

James Connolly

There is a Lady sweet and kind,
Was never face so pleased my mind;
I did but see her passing by,
And yet I love her till I die.

Thomas Ford

To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man's injustice to woman.

Mahatma Gandhi

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: George Carlin (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.