Notes from Wikiquote
We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers' attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters. | We have a daughter in public school who hasn't been knocked up yet. | We have a son in public school who hasn't shot any of his classmates yet. But he does sell drugs to your honor student. Plus he knocked up your daughter. | We are the embarrassed parents of a cross-eyed little nit-wit who at the age of ten not only continues to wet the bed but also shits on the school bus.