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Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

— Rita Rudner

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Marriage

More quotes by Rita Rudner

I love being married, I do. It's so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Nobody is really happy with what's on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind.

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

To me, life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men — how about "New Car Interior"?

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

I had teeth that stuck out so far, I used to eat other kids' candy bars by accident.

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

All Rita Rudner quotes →

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The confusion of marriage with morality has done more to destroy the conscience of the human race than any other single error.

George Bernard Shaw Man and Superman (1903)

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Oscar Wilde A Woman of No Importance (1893)

A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his wife talks Greek.

Samuel Johnson

The best way to worship God is to love your wife.

Victor Hugo Les Misérables (1862)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Rita Rudner (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.