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Nobody is really happy with what's on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind.

— Rita Rudner Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

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More quotes by Rita Rudner

I love being married, I do. It's so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

To me, life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men — how about "New Car Interior"?

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

I had teeth that stuck out so far, I used to eat other kids' candy bars by accident.

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Rita Rudner (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.