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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat.”

— Rita Rudner

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Halloween

More quotes by Rita Rudner

I love being married, I do. It's so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Nobody is really happy with what's on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind.

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

To me, life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men — how about "New Car Interior"?

Naked Beneath My Clothes (1992)

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

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To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

Bertrand Russell Marriage and Morals (1929)

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.

William James The Will to Believe and Other Essays in Popular Philosophy (1897)

There is no governor anywhere; you are all absolutely free. There is no restraint that cannot be escaped.

Robert Anton Wilson

Most intellectual people do not believe in God, but they fear him just the same.

Wilhelm Reich Philosophy : An Introduction to the Art of Wondering (2005)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Rita Rudner (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.