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There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

— Doug Stanhope Before Turning the Gun on Himself (2012)

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More quotes by Doug Stanhope

If you really believe that death leads to eternal bliss, then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

Word of Mouth (2002)

Wanting more. Having your cake or eating your cake are fine. Not even wanting cake is where you get fucked.

Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.

Deadbeat Hero (2004)

Life is like animal porn. It's not for everyone.

Something to Take the Edge Off (2000)

I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.

Something to Take the Edge Off (2000)

All Doug Stanhope quotes →

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Doug Stanhope (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.