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Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

born 1954 United States

Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld (born April 29, 1954) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. He is best known for playing a semi-fictionalized version of himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David.

United States
Actors
Comedians
Film producers
Memoirists

Random Jerry Seinfeld quote

115 quotes

Great steering is, to me, the essence of the automotive experience.

Pebble Beach Classic Cars Forum (2017)

I think that comedy is the be-all and end-all.

Talking Funny (2011)

Every car has a personality. Every car is trying to say something to the world.

Pebble Beach Classic Cars Forum (2018)

The sad truth is, people are only interested in themselves. So, if you just ask them what they are doing or what’s going on or how they feel, they generally go on for hours.

Reddit "Ask Me Anything" #3 (2016)

It really speaks to how bad [American] food is, that it's work.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

No one is more judged in civilized society than the stand-up comedian. Every twelve seconds, you're rated.

Talking Funny (2011)

I think spending your life trying to dupe innocent people out of hard-won earnings to buy useless, low-quality, misrepresented items and services is an excellent use of your energy!

Clio Award Acceptance Speech (2014)

"Funniest" is completely personal. Whoever you think is funniest, is funniest.

Reddit "Ask Me Anything" #3 (2016)

You can't be the one who decides why you like something. It doesn't matter!

Talking Funny (2011)

What is the handicap parking situation at the Special Olympics? They must have to just stack like a hundred cars into those two spots.

SeinLanguage (1993)

Most comedians do not relate to cars. I don't know why.

Pebble Beach Classic Cars Forum (2017)

We are a hopeful species. Stupid, but hopeful.

Clio Award Acceptance Speech (2014)

The Internet is the most brutal medium for attention span. The distance from your finger to that "off" -- or "stop" -- is-- it's-- you're holding it right there, while you're watching the thing!

Vulture Festival (2015)

I don't know why people always assume that the guest is more interesting than the host.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

Get bigger! Don't just play to the people that get you. Play to the people that don't get you, and you'll get better!

New York Times Talk (2016)

I think it's very strange that men like dogs and women like cats because women want attention and men want to be left alone, it should be the complete opposite.

Reddit "Ask Me Anything" #2 (2014)

Pain is knowledge rushing in to fill a gap. When you stub your toe on the foot of the bed, that was a gap in knowledge. And the pain is a lot of information really quick. That's what pain is.

What’s to see? A woman from Norway, a guy from Kenya, and 20,000 losers.

Inexplicable malevolence was our favorite thing [on Seinfeld]. There's no reason-- There was never a reason I didn't like Newman; there was no reason. "We just think it's better to hate this guy."

New York Times Talk (2016)

That's one of-- a beautiful thing about having kids, is you reproduce people that you can relate to.

BuzzFeed Interview (2014)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Jerry Seinfeld (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.