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What is the handicap parking situation at the Special Olympics? They must have to just stack like a hundred cars into those two spots.

— Jerry Seinfeld SeinLanguage (1993)

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More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

No. Books take a long time, and I don't get to hear the laughs.

Reddit "Ask Me Anything" #2 (2014)

The word "pet peeve" is one of my biggest pet peeves, to tell you the truth.

All dads dress in the style of the last good year of their lives.

I still think everything has its life cycle and if you respect it, people enjoy it longer.

Reddit "Ask Me Anything" #1 (2014)

No one knows public humiliation like a comedian.

All Jerry Seinfeld quotes →

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Jerry Seinfeld (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.