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Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

born 1954 United States

Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld (born April 29, 1954) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. He is best known for playing a semi-fictionalized version of himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David.

United States
Actors
Comedians
Film producers
Memoirists

Random Jerry Seinfeld quote

115 quotes

I like that [obituaries] boil the whole guy's life down to "Invented the ballpoint-pen spring".

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge.

New York Times Profile (2015)

Stand-up is a very scientific and very exhaustive study of the human experience.

Success Without Stress" Interview (2014)

The only reason people still exist is phones need pockets to ride around in.

Sunday Sitdown" Interview (2018)

God has no rhyme or reason to who he gives a sense of humor to.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

I was in every room: from the writing room to the stage, to the editing room, to the rewrite, and I knew what the original intent always was.

Seinfeld Featurettes (2004)

I don't think comedy has changed, and it never will change.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

Most things that are weird are not "weird good".

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

One of the things that bothered me about acting is that a lot of people just say they can do it and-- and can't! There's nobody in this world [of comedy] that says they can do it and can't do it.

Talking Funny (2011)

When I go to see somebody work, I don't want to see your "new hour". I want to see the act!

Talking Funny (2011)

I do have a bucket list. And I looked at the list, and then, I decided to turn the B [into] an F, and I was done with it.

Vulture Festival (2015)

I would say that I am 90% serious in my day. Comedy is no joke.

Reddit "Ask Me Anything" #1 (2014)

Do you think if they only made one Hangover -- and didn't make the other two -- it would be considered a comedy classic? Do you think that you destroyed what would have been a comedy classic, by the cash grab of II and III?

Jail is such a-- really a way that a grown-up would punish a child. "You go in there and you stay in there!"

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

The concept of writing is so alien-- actual writing is so alien to most comedians.

What a Joke" Radio Show (2019)

The secret to television is: the person who gets the opportunity wants to "re-form" this type of content to them, personally.

My Next Guest Interview (2018)

If you like a daily slight terror, you will like being a stand-up comedian.

Sunday Sitdown" Interview (2018)

If we really stuck with the classic Greek priorities, a sound mind in a sound body, the only two places we'd ever go is to a library or a gym.

SeinLanguage (1993)

I always describe my upbringing as "benign neglect": that I was-- I really felt like my parents were just letting me live there 'til I grew up.

Comedians have such an intense allergy to pretension.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (2012)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Jerry Seinfeld (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.