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I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having another man around the house...

— Daniel Tosh True Stories I Made Up (2005)

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Marriage

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed off.

You are a sick freak who should be beaten.

True Stories I Made Up (2005)

I don't think I could stab somebody, 'cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.

Comedy Central Presents: Daniel Tosh (2003)

You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with, "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

Comedy Central Presents: Daniel Tosh (2003)

Butt sex is a lot like spinach. If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult.

True Stories I Made Up (2005)

All Daniel Tosh quotes →

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The confusion of marriage with morality has done more to destroy the conscience of the human race than any other single error.

George Bernard Shaw Man and Superman (1903)

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Oscar Wilde A Woman of No Importance (1893)

A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his wife talks Greek.

Samuel Johnson

The best way to worship God is to love your wife.

Victor Hugo Les Misérables (1862)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Daniel Tosh (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.