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Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

— Daniel Tosh Happy Thoughts (2011)

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Women

More quotes by Daniel Tosh

I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed off.

You are a sick freak who should be beaten.

True Stories I Made Up (2005)

I don't think I could stab somebody, 'cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.

Comedy Central Presents: Daniel Tosh (2003)

You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with, "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

Comedy Central Presents: Daniel Tosh (2003)

Butt sex is a lot like spinach. If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult.

True Stories I Made Up (2005)

All Daniel Tosh quotes →

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The worker is the slave of capitalist society, the female worker is the slave of that slave.

James Connolly

There is a Lady sweet and kind,
Was never face so pleased my mind;
I did but see her passing by,
And yet I love her till I die.

Thomas Ford

To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man's injustice to woman.

Mahatma Gandhi

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Daniel Tosh (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.