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The satisfaction you feel from your own success pales in comparison to the despair you feel from this person's personal triumphs, even if those triumphs are completely unrelated to your life.

— Chuck Klosterman Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas (2006)

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Work: Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas, 2006
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Even if this person's girlfriend was a hateful bitch, you would sleep with her out of spite.

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This person has done at least two (2) things that would be classified as "unforgivable."

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If your archenemy tried to kill you, this person would attempt to stop him.

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You and this person once competed for the same woman, and you both failed.

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You have punched this person in the face.

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This SimChuck is one suave bastard.

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This is the kind of shit that would prompt Tyler Durden to hit somebody in the face.

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Psychologically, the internet is very marxist. Everyone with a modem has access to the same information, so we all get jammed into a technological middle class.

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Within the context of life, I am the centrist pragmatist who doesn't even vote; within the context of sports, I am a potential war criminal.

Every time you talk to this person, you lie.

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If this person slept with your girlfriend, she would never be attractive to you again.

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Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living.

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If you meet someone who has the same first name as this person, you immediately like them less.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Chuck Klosterman (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.