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If you meet someone who has the same first name as this person, you immediately like them less.

— Chuck Klosterman Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas (2006)

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Work: Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas, 2006
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This person has done at least two (2) things that would be classified as "unforgivable."

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If your archenemy tried to kill you, this person would attempt to stop him.

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You and this person once competed for the same woman, and you both failed.

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You have punched this person in the face.

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This SimChuck is one suave bastard.

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This is the kind of shit that would prompt Tyler Durden to hit somebody in the face.

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Psychologically, the internet is very marxist. Everyone with a modem has access to the same information, so we all get jammed into a technological middle class.

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Seeing no resolution to my existential recognition of loss, I decide to eat lunch.

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Within the context of life, I am the centrist pragmatist who doesn't even vote; within the context of sports, I am a potential war criminal.

Every time you talk to this person, you lie.

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If this person slept with your girlfriend, she would never be attractive to you again.

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Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living.

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Even if this person's girlfriend was a hateful bitch, you would sleep with her out of spite.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Chuck Klosterman (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.