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In those old hotels, everything creaks: Argh, argh, argh. Even the door: Argh! You can always hear the bloke above you moving around, and when it's three in the morning you turn into his wife: "That's the fourth time tonight. Go back to fucking bed!"

— Lee Evans Big Live at the O2 (2008)

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More quotes by Lee Evans

I was thinking to myself out there — well, you wouldn't think you're anybody else, would you?

Live from the West End (1995)

Luv can we off off, not off off but fuck off.

Big Live at the O2 (2008)

It's like unison, "Welcome to speech therapy, all together!"..."NAOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!"

Live at Her Majesty's Theatre (1994)

Bees. They don't know they've even got a fuckin' sting. It's like buzzes, it's a twat with a shotgun!

Live from the West End (1995)

People tell me, "Lee, you should take up golf. It's good for you." You know what I say to that? "Fuck off."

Big Live at the O2 (2008)

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Lee Evans (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.