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If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween...don't. I will find you. I will hurt you.

— Lewis Black The Carnegie Hall Performance (2006)

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More quotes by Lewis Black

If anyone is as angry as I am, it's the good people of Detroit.

Stark Raving Black (2010)

I'm only allowed to say 'fuck' twelve times.

The Carnegie Hall Performance (2006)

FEMA? I always thought it was a bone here in your ass.

Red, White, and Screwed (2006)

I'll tell ya, in New York City, where I've lived far too long, 'fuck' isn't even a word, it's a comma.

The White Album (2000)

I don't know if you noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking in the mirror at itself.

Stark Raving Black (2010)

All Lewis Black quotes →

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Lewis Black (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.