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Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week.

— Lewis Black The End of the Universe (2002)

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More quotes by Lewis Black

If anyone is as angry as I am, it's the good people of Detroit.

Stark Raving Black (2010)

I'm only allowed to say 'fuck' twelve times.

The Carnegie Hall Performance (2006)

FEMA? I always thought it was a bone here in your ass.

Red, White, and Screwed (2006)

I'll tell ya, in New York City, where I've lived far too long, 'fuck' isn't even a word, it's a comma.

The White Album (2000)

I don't know if you noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking in the mirror at itself.

Stark Raving Black (2010)

All Lewis Black quotes →

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Lewis Black (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.