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If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.

— Lewis Black Rules of Enragement (2003)

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Gardening

More quotes by Lewis Black

If anyone is as angry as I am, it's the good people of Detroit.

Stark Raving Black (2010)

I'm only allowed to say 'fuck' twelve times.

The Carnegie Hall Performance (2006)

FEMA? I always thought it was a bone here in your ass.

Red, White, and Screwed (2006)

I'll tell ya, in New York City, where I've lived far too long, 'fuck' isn't even a word, it's a comma.

The White Album (2000)

I don't know if you noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking in the mirror at itself.

Stark Raving Black (2010)

All Lewis Black quotes →

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Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

Douglas Adams The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1979)

Show me your garden, provided it be your own, and I will tell you what you are like.

Alfred Austin The Garden That I Love (1894)

Nothing is more completely the child of art than a garden.

Walter Scott

We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

Eve

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Lewis Black (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.