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On life's list of fun things to do, [visiting my in-laws] comes in somewhere below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

— Jeff Foxworthy Totally Committed (1998)

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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

If you're a man and you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay or married.

Have Your Loved Ones Spayed and Neutered (2004)

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

Have Your Loved Ones Spayed and Neutered (2004)

Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.

All Jeff Foxworthy quotes →

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Jeff Foxworthy (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.