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We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

— Jeff Foxworthy

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War

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

If you're a man and you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay or married.

Have Your Loved Ones Spayed and Neutered (2004)

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

Have Your Loved Ones Spayed and Neutered (2004)

Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.

On life's list of fun things to do, [visiting my in-laws] comes in somewhere below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

Totally Committed (1998)

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All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.

Albert Einstein Moral Decay (1937)

The last half of the 20th century will seem like a wild party for rich kids, compared to what's coming now.

Hunter S. Thompson

Only the dead have seen the end of war.

George Santayana Soliloquies in England and Later Soliloquies (1922)

Wars produce many stories of fiction, some of which are told until they are believed to be true.

Ulysses S. Grant Personal Memoirs of General U. S. Grant (1885)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Jeff Foxworthy (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.