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...I haven't seen so many dirty snouts, and slimy arseholes crammed into such a small space since I last looked inside a sausage.

— Charlie Brooker

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More quotes by Charlie Brooker

Newspapers chiefly exist to spooned the opinions of their readers back to them, much like an arse to mouth hosepipe.

Forgive my pants for remaining unshitten.

Man the lifeboats. The idiots are winning.

That's certainly made me think - it's made me think, "I don't know if I want a television any more."

The iPad falls between two stools – not quite a laptop, not quite a smartphone. In other words, it's the spork of the electronic consumer goods world.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Charlie Brooker (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.