Charlie Brooker Quotes
born 1971 England
Charlton "Charlie" Brooker (born 3 March 1971) is a satirist, TV critic, TV presenter and columnist for the UK's Guardian newspaper.
- England
- Columnists
- Comedians
- Satirists
- Screenwriters
Random Charlie Brooker quote
33 quotes
Newspapers chiefly exist to spooned the opinions of their readers back to them, much like an arse to mouth hosepipe.
Forgive my pants for remaining unshitten.
Man the lifeboats. The idiots are winning.
That's certainly made me think - it's made me think, "I don't know if I want a television any more."
The iPad falls between two stools – not quite a laptop, not quite a smartphone. In other words, it's the spork of the electronic consumer goods world.
Combine the "mounting pressure" with the "growing cause" and you've got yourself a "media whirlwind" which you can also refer to.
Even if the Jabscreen 4 was reportedly biting users' ears off and spitting them into a ditch, every Jabscreen 3 user is going to wind up buying one anyway.
Balls to aspiration, it's a tosser's mirage.
If love were a product, the queue at the faulty goods desk would stretch right round the universe and back. It doesn't work properly. The seams come apart and it's full of powdered glass.
Anyway, Big Brother 7: that was that. Big Brother 8 is scheduled to take place in the glowing centre of an irradiated war-torn wasteland formerly known as Earth. See you there.
If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality.
Sport belongs in a news bulletin about as much as a mummified cat's head belongs in a Caesar salad.
Hello, I'm Charlie Brooker and you're watching Screenwipe, a programme all about television.
It's a rum state of affairs when you feel like punching a jar of mayonnaise in the face.
Actually, I think this might be an Al-Qaeda recruitment film.
Super injunctions are interesting legal weapons really, they don't just gag the press, they gag them from mentioning the existence of the gag.
Oh good, this is hardly ever on.
In summary, our world is doomed.
He could probably make you a cloud sandwich if you asked. Or a blancmange made of numbers.
A lot of people think right-wingers aren't capable of being amusing at all. Not true. Mussolini looked hilarious swinging from that lamppost.