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Osama Bin Laden is dead? Oh my God, that was so easy! And it only took two trillion dollars, two wars and too many good men.

— Christopher Titus Neverlution (2011)

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War

More quotes by Christopher Titus

Texas is killing people in the 73rd trimester.

Neverlution (2011)

I am a patriot, and I protest speed limits by exceeding them.

Neverlution (2011)

Fighting Dad's not a fight. Fighting dad is, (a la a game show announcer): "Hi, you've just instigated your own mugging! Come on down!"

Norman Rockwell is Bleeding (2004)

I don't think a man should EVER hit a woman..... until the 5th time she cracks him in the face.

Norman Rockwell is Bleeding (2004)

If you are in here tonight and you have never contemplated suicide…you've never truly been in love. If you're in here tonight and you have never contemplated murder…you've never been divorced.

Love is Evol (2009)

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All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.

Albert Einstein Moral Decay (1937)

The last half of the 20th century will seem like a wild party for rich kids, compared to what's coming now.

Hunter S. Thompson

Only the dead have seen the end of war.

George Santayana Soliloquies in England and Later Soliloquies (1922)

Wars produce many stories of fiction, some of which are told until they are believed to be true.

Ulysses S. Grant Personal Memoirs of General U. S. Grant (1885)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Christopher Titus (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.