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I don't think a man should EVER hit a woman..... until the 5th time she cracks him in the face.

— Christopher Titus Norman Rockwell is Bleeding (2004)

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More quotes by Christopher Titus

Texas is killing people in the 73rd trimester.

Neverlution (2011)

Osama Bin Laden is dead? Oh my God, that was so easy! And it only took two trillion dollars, two wars and too many good men.

Neverlution (2011)

I am a patriot, and I protest speed limits by exceeding them.

Neverlution (2011)

Fighting Dad's not a fight. Fighting dad is, (a la a game show announcer): "Hi, you've just instigated your own mugging! Come on down!"

Norman Rockwell is Bleeding (2004)

If you are in here tonight and you have never contemplated suicide…you've never truly been in love. If you're in here tonight and you have never contemplated murder…you've never been divorced.

Love is Evol (2009)

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The worker is the slave of capitalist society, the female worker is the slave of that slave.

James Connolly

There is a Lady sweet and kind,
Was never face so pleased my mind;
I did but see her passing by,
And yet I love her till I die.

Thomas Ford

To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man's injustice to woman.

Mahatma Gandhi

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Christopher Titus (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.