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I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it.

— Jack Handey Deep Thoughts: Inspiration for the Uninspired (1992)

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War

More quotes by Jack Handey

IF YOU ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

Deep Thoughts: Inspiration for the Uninspired (1992)

A wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Deep Thoughts: Inspiration for the Uninspired (1992)

IF YOU GO through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker. It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.

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All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom.

Albert Einstein Moral Decay (1937)

The last half of the 20th century will seem like a wild party for rich kids, compared to what's coming now.

Hunter S. Thompson

Only the dead have seen the end of war.

George Santayana Soliloquies in England and Later Soliloquies (1922)

Wars produce many stories of fiction, some of which are told until they are believed to be true.

Ulysses S. Grant Personal Memoirs of General U. S. Grant (1885)

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Jack Handey (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.