Skip to content

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.

— Henny Youngman The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America (2001)

Another quote →

Source and credibility

Wikiquote does not flag this quote as disputed or misattributed.

Source: No source given
Work: The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America, 2001
Source quality: Source identified Names the work or year, but without an exact location.

More by Henny Youngman

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America (2001)

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree.

The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America (2001)

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America (2001)

All Henny Youngman quotes →

Topics

Marriage

More quotes by Henny Youngman

My first Hollywood picture wasn't released, it escaped.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Business was so bad the other night the orchestra was playing "Tea for One."

Don't Put My Name on this Book (1976)

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America (2001)

I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother

All Henny Youngman quotes →

You may also like

The confusion of marriage with morality has done more to destroy the conscience of the human race than any other single error.

George Bernard Shaw Man and Superman (1903)

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Oscar Wilde A Woman of No Importance (1893)

A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his wife talks Greek.

Samuel Johnson

The best way to worship God is to love your wife.

Victor Hugo Les Misérables (1862)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Henny Youngman (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.