264 quotes
How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)
My theory is that all women have hydrofluoric acid bottled up inside.
What is it, what can it possibly be about blowjobs and golf?
A Man Without a Country (2005)
Literature is idiosyncratic arrangements in horizontal lines in only twenty-six symbols, ten arabic numbers, and about eight punctuation marks.
No grown woman is a fan of premature ejaculation.
Happy Birthday, Wanda June (1970)
The controls were anything but a hunch-player's delight in a Universe composed of one-trillionth part matter to one decillion parts black velvet futility.
The Sirens of Titan (1959)
Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go looking for it, and I think it can often be poisonous.
Slapstick (1976)
Democracy owed its life to know-how.
Player Piano (1952)
I used to think that science would save us, and science certainly tried. But we can't stand any more tremendous explosions, either for or against democracy.
Bennington College address (1970)
The most important message of a crucifix, to me anyway, was how unspeakably cruel supposedly sane human beings can be when under orders from a superior authority.
Hocus Pocus (1990)
You're the only ones zany enough to agonize over time and distance without limit, over mysteries that will never die, over the fact that we are right now determining whether the space voyage for the next billion years or so is going to be Heaven or Hell.
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater (1965)
Take Care of the People, and God Almighty Will Take Care of Himself.
The Sirens of Titan (1959)
Pretend to be good always, and even God will be fooled.
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater (1965)
All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.
Timequake (1997)
The band at the far end of the hall, amplified to the din of an elephant charge, smashed and hewed at the tune as though in a holy war against silence.
Player Piano (1952)
What is literature but an insider's newsletter about affairs relating to molecules, of no importance to anything in the Universe but a few molecules who have the disease called "thought".
Bluebeard (1987)
"I liked him very much," said Constant.
"The insane, on occasion, are not without their charms," said Beatrice.
The Sirens of Titan (1959)
A great swindle of our time is the assumption that science has made religion obsolete.
Bennington College address (1970)
The arts put man at the center of the universe, whether he belongs there or not.
Bennington College address (1970)
They are being treated, as I never was, like toys a rich kid got for Christmas.
Cold Turkey (2004)