62 quotes
I honestly don't understand it, because it's somebody hitting a ball to where you can't get it, but you want to get it. I think they should rethink it.
People with cancer like to wear jogging suits.
Is... Not Nicole Kidman (2005)
She (Monica Lewinsky) is the kinda girl who'll blow a guy and call you and tell you all about it.
Hot Cup Of Talk (1998)
Let's just say I'm gonna be so politically incorrect, you might even get sued for being in the audience.
Allegedly (2004)
The wrestler was up there with his wife, and I actually heard her say "Can this thing do a loopty loop?"
Allegedly (2004)
Donna (Karan), you have huge jugs, you could totally be a manager at Hooters!
Allegedly (2004)
When you perform for the Army, they want dick jokes and they want em now!
Allegedly (2004)
Isn't Scientology one of those things where you really like someone and once you hear they're a Scientologist, you're like "I'm out"?
Allegedly (2004)
Straight guys, this is your section, wake up (clap clap).
Whores on Crutches (2010)
I'm not wearing any pants and the lesbians are waiting!
Strong Black Woman (2006)
Oprah decides to go with her "friend", Gayle.
Is... Not Nicole Kidman (2005)
Don't you love the new crazy Britney, she's our new Liza.
The D-list (2004)
You'll have to excuse my friend, Ryan. That's the first time he's ever touched a woman.
Is... Not Nicole Kidman (2005)
So, Hanson, which one of you boys is coming home with me tonight? (greeting the band Hanson)
Hot Cup Of Talk (1998)
I actually share one thing with Whitney Houston, which is, I also have sweating issues.
The D-list (2004)
I might imply in my act that Clay (Aiken) is a big, fat homo!
Is... Not Nicole Kidman (2005)
Next thing I know, there a baby in my ter-litt!
Whores on Crutches (2010)
I'm gonna be so hot, I'm gonna fuck myself!
Strong Black Woman (2006)
And then who comes along to save the day? A couple of tool-belt wearing, golf-loving, Dinah Shore weekend lesbians sent from heaven.
Strong Black Woman (2006)
Because he loves pussy. Except it smells like fish!
Is... Not Nicole Kidman (2005)