26 quotes
If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.
The Replacement (2006)
The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.
Arborophilia (2005)
I would prefer to believe that a market in fetal organs would empower women to use their reproductive capabilities to their own economic advantage.
Most people are far more concerned that they can control their own bodies than they are about petitioning Congress.
Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.
Arborophilia (2005)
I am grateful that I have rights in the proverbial public square--but, as a practical matter, my most cherished rights are those that I possess in my bedroom and hospital room and death chamber.
If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises....
Arborophilia (2005)
You delude yourself that you live in a free country because you never test the boundaries of that freedom.
The Man Who Wouldn't Stand Up (2012)
Always warm up the audience with a joke....If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke....
There is a fundamental difference, however, between asking to be permitted to keep a vegetative relative on costly machinery, and asking the taxpayers or society as a whole to pay for such machinery.
I have vicarious morning sickness. Other people's babies make me nauseous.
The Magic Laundry (2015)
You know you're over the hill when the hill is over you.
Millard Salter's Last Day (2017)
Patriotism is being convinced your country is better because you were born in it.
The Man Who Wouldn't Stand Up (2012)
The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.
The Biology of Luck (2013)
Much as constitutional guarantees of press freedom do little good for prospective publishers if they do not have access to paper or ink, the right to aid in dying is strikingly useless if nobody is willing to help.
The cold, cruel reality is that with one current justice now approaching ninety, and four others over seventy, the day will inevitably arrive when a sitting justice lies in an intensive care unit, both unable to resign and unable to resume his or her duties.
Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one person with whom you share the same internal chronometer.
The Biology of Luck (2013)
It is easy to let men alone when they do things our way. The test of a truly enlightened civilization is one that lets people alone, to pursue their own predilections, even when the majority of us prefer to live our lives very differently from theirs.
Victory [over homophobia] may require five or maybe 20 years. Yet I have no doubt that "don't ask, don't tell" and same-sex adoption bans will be as unspeakable and inexplicable to my grandchildren as counting a slave as three-fifths of a human being.
Nixon’s offences had been so long in the past, so much part of a different era that he now seemed like some lovable but bigoted uncle you tolerated at Christmas and Thanksgiving.
The Man Who Wouldn't Stand Up (2012)