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Bill Engvall Quotes

born 1957 United States

William Ray "Bill" Engvall, Jr. (born July 27, 1957) is an American comedian, and a member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

United States
Actors
Satirists
Singer-songwriters
Stand-up comedians

Random Bill Engvall quote

44 quotes

[after drunkenly getting his ear pierced]

Here's Your Sign Reloaded (2003)

Y'all, I am screaming at my television set: THEY'RE SPITTING COBRAS, YOU MORON!! Didn't you hear the [Hocking sound]

Here's Your Sign Live! (2004)

My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties. Welcome to my world.

Cheap Drunk: An Autobiography (2002)

Marital sex is kinda like ordering a Civil War chess set through the mail. You get one piece every four to six weeks, you don't know what kind of shape that piece is gonna be in when you get it, but you still gotta pay the handling charges.

Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again (2004)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Bill Engvall (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.