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Marital sex is kinda like ordering a Civil War chess set through the mail. You get one piece every four to six weeks, you don't know what kind of shape that piece is gonna be in when you get it, but you still gotta pay the handling charges.

— Bill Engvall Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again (2004)

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More quotes by Bill Engvall

Engvall and his wife are packing up their stuff to move, with a U-Haul sitting in their driveway.

Engvall and his wife have, for three days, had a cement truck in their yard to re-do their porch.

A friend bought two cakes for his wife's birthday, with a "3" on one and an "8" on the other.

Engvall's car breaks down on a highway, there's smoke pouring out of the hood, and a motorist stops to help him.

Truck driver gets his truck stuck under an overpass, with Engvall watching.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Bill Engvall (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.