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The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel."

— Dennis Miller

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More quotes by Dennis Miller

And remember, when we talk of the fittest, it is all about the context. Sure, the lion is king of the jungle but airdrop him into Antarctica, & he's just a penguin's bitch.

The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.

South African schoolchildren set a world record this week by creating the world's longest clothesline. Hey, what do South Africans wash their clothes with? Apar-Tide!

At one time, Washington actually meant something. But now, it's about as relevant as Bob Dylan's tuning fork.

I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of "Whole Lotta Love."

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Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man.

Francis Bacon Meditationes sacræ (1597)

It is not in the books of the Philosophers, but in the religious symbolism of the Ancients, that we must look for the footprints of Science, and re-discover the Mysteries of Knowledge.

Albert Pike Morals and Dogma of the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry (1871)

There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of people running about with lit matches.

Ray Bradbury Fahrenheit 451 (1953)

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

Logan Pearsall Smith Afterthoughts (1931)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Dennis Miller (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.