Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
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Notes from Wikiquote
Leaving Home (1995).
More quotes by Art Buchwald
If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
I like champagne—because it always tastes like my foot's asleep.
Attribution
Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Art Buchwald (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.