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I get that Speedo on, it looks like a rubber band stretched over a head of cauliflower.

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More quotes by Ron White

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.

I'm sweating scotch out of every pore in my body.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

We take the money we make from selling the rest of Florida to Israel, we buy Mexico, fix it up and flip it!

My manager will send me anywhere he wants to, 'cause he doesn't have to fuckin' go.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Ron White (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.