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In Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so if you want to kill a person, you have to take the subway to their house. And sometimes on the way, the train is delayed and you get impatient, so you have to kill someone on the subway. That's why there are so many subway murders; no one has a car.

— George Carlin Brain Droppings (1998)

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Cars

More quotes by George Carlin

Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that shit.

Brain Droppings (1997)

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're tired.

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If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance.

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It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.

The future will soon be a thing of the past.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: George Carlin (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.