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When you're in the middle of having a baby, it's a bit like watching two very inefficient removal men, trying to get a very large sofa through a very small doorway. Only in this case you can't say, "Oh sod it, bring it through the French windows".

— Victoria Wood

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More quotes by Victoria Wood

Sometimes I think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the pill.

Victoria Wood: As Seen on TV (1985)

We'd like to apologise to our viewers in the North - it must be awful for you.

Victoria Wood: As Seen on TV (1985)

Where are you in the menstrual cycle?
Taurus.

People think I hate sex. I don’t. I just don’t like things that stop you seeing the television properly.

The Italians have got opera, the Spanish have got flamenco dancing. What have we got? Weight Watchers.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Victoria Wood (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.