16 quotes
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
It is to be observed that "angling" is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.
Americans are queer people: they can't rest.
With the thermometer at 30 below zero and the wind behind him, a man walking on Main Street in Winnipeg knows which side of him is which.
My Discovery of the West (1937)
Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.
Literary Lapses (1910)
Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets. These may be put on a frame of little sticks and turned round. This causes the tides.
Literary lapses (1918)
For the pursuit of business her head is all wrong. Figures confuse her. She lacks sustained attention and in point of morals the average woman is, even for business, too crooked.
The Lord said "Let there be wheat" and Saskatchewan was born.
My Discovery of America (1937)
My parents migrated to Canada in 1876, and I decided to go with them.
Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town (1912)
It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
Literary Lapses (1910)
The rushing of his spirit from its prison-house was as rapid as a hunted cat passing over a garden fence.
Literary Lapses (1910)
To borrow money, big money, you have to wear your hair in a certain way, walk in a certain way, and have about you an air of solemnity and majesty — something like the atmosphere of a Gothic cathedral.
The Garden of Folly (1924)
Presently I shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. That means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.
You know, many a man realizes late in life that if when he was a boy he had known what he knows now, instead of being what he is he might be what he won't; but how few boys stop to think that if they knew what they don't know instead of being what they will be, they wouldn't be?
Literary Lapses (1910)
A barber is by nature and inclination a sport. He can tell you at what exact hour the ball game is to begin, can foretell its issue without losing a stroke of the razor, and can explain the points of inferiority of all the players, as compared with the better men that he has personally seen elsewhere, with the nicety of a professional.
Literary Lapses (1910)