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A barber is by nature and inclination a sport. He can tell you at what exact hour the ball game is to begin, can foretell its issue without losing a stroke of the razor, and can explain the points of inferiority of all the players, as compared with the better men that he has personally seen elsewhere, with the nicety of a professional.

— Stephen Leacock Literary Lapses (1910)

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More quotes by Stephen Leacock

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

It is to be observed that "angling" is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

Americans are queer people: they can't rest.

With the thermometer at 30 below zero and the wind behind him, a man walking on Main Street in Winnipeg knows which side of him is which.

My Discovery of the West (1937)

Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Stephen Leacock (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.