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Nicole Hollander on Women

1939–2026 United States

← All quotes by Nicole Hollander

25 quotes

(Woman organizing picnic) Most normal people would agree that pizza is nature's perfect food, right?

(Woman to psychic) Which do you think is the more impossible dream: the perfect man or the perfect handbag?

(Voice on television) Midol relives the special pain that women get (Sylvia) when they realize they picked the wrong man, again.

(Man in bar) Can you imagine a world without men? (Sylvia) No crime, and lots of happy, fat women.

(Man on television) If women want time off to bear children, they can't expect to be treated as equals. (Sylvia) Okay, give men time off to bear children.

(Woman psychic to woman client) So how come the tall, dark, handsome stranger I see in your future is a woman?

(Television) The insurance industry is perfectly willing to stop discriminating against women, if some other group would volunteer to take their place.

(Woman psychic) In June of 1987, men will begin talking about their feelings; women all over America will be sorry within minutes.

(Man in bar) How come only ugly women are for the equal rights amendment? (Sylvia) How come the guys who ask that question always have bad breath?

(Television) If women want time off to bear children, they can't expect to be treated as equals. (Sylvia) Okay, give men time off to bear children.

(Man on television) Man is the hunter. Woman is the civilizing influence, and when women abandon that role, men become (Sylvia) Cranky, and start wars.

(Television) The brain is differently wired in men and women. (Sylvia) In men, the wires are loose.

(Television) Men are naturally more aggressive than women. (Sylvia) All the more reason to keep them locked up after dark.

(Television) Angry women beat up shoe salesman who posed as gynecologist. (Sylvia) I hate guys who do that.

(Wicked witch hexing babies) Women of future generations will have undreamt of career opportunities. You two will use yours to despoil the environment.

(Man in bar) The kind of woman I want just isn't around anymore. (Sylvia) Perhaps if you wait for a full moon.

(Man at dinner table) Bet you don't know what a male swan is called. (Woman at dinner table) Sure I do. A swine.

(Television) Being a woman is as much a state of mind as a state of being. (Sylvia) Right. You stop paying attention, you might turn into a tuna.

(Television) There's a special feeling about being a woman. You do so much for everyone around you. But some days (Sylvia) You realize you've been had.

(Woman on television) Frank, Frank, make me feel like a woman. (Man on television) Could you pick up my laundry?

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Nicole Hollander (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.