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Nicole Hollander Quotes
1939–2026 United States
Nicole Hollander (April 25, 1939 – April 23, 2026) was an American cartoonist and writer. Her daily comic strip Sylvia is syndicated to newspapers nationally and can be seen on her blog Bad Girl Chats.
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76 quotes
(Sylvia) There’s not enough coffee in the whole world to turn me into a functional human being.
(Woman organizing picnic) Most normal people would agree that pizza is nature's perfect food, right?
(Woman to psychic) Which do you think is the more impossible dream: the perfect man or the perfect handbag?
(Sylvia at typewriter) A lady never offers a new lover a complimentary tooth brush, razor and sewing kit the next morning.
(Sylvia at typewriter) For feminine protection, every day use a hand grenade.
(Voice on television) Midol relives the special pain that women get (Sylvia) when they realize they picked the wrong man, again.
(Sylvia) The experienced traveler always flies first class so that when the engine falls off the plane, she’s drinking champagne.
(Sylvia) Being a monopoly means never having to say you're sorry.
(Sylvia) You almost never see a real lady popping out of a cake.
(Man in bar) Can you imagine a world without men? (Sylvia) No crime, and lots of happy, fat women.
(Man on television) If women want time off to bear children, they can't expect to be treated as equals. (Sylvia) Okay, give men time off to bear children.
(Woman psychic to woman client) So how come the tall, dark, handsome stranger I see in your future is a woman?
(Television news announcer) The Supreme Court staggered the nation today when they ruled that conception begins the minute you think about sex.
(Television) The insurance industry is perfectly willing to stop discriminating against women, if some other group would volunteer to take their place.
(Woman psychic) In June of 1987, men will begin talking about their feelings; women all over America will be sorry within minutes.
(Sylvia) A really good haircut is as effective in changing one’s life as A) 3 months of psychotherapy. B) 6 months of psychotherapy.
(Man in bar) How come only ugly women are for the equal rights amendment? (Sylvia) How come the guys who ask that question always have bad breath?
(Television) If women want time off to bear children, they can't expect to be treated as equals. (Sylvia) Okay, give men time off to bear children.
(Man on television) Man is the hunter. Woman is the civilizing influence, and when women abandon that role, men become (Sylvia) Cranky, and start wars.
(Television) The brain is differently wired in men and women. (Sylvia) In men, the wires are loose.
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