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Nicole Hollander Quotes
1939–2026 United States
Nicole Hollander (April 25, 1939 – April 23, 2026) was an American cartoonist and writer. Her daily comic strip Sylvia is syndicated to newspapers nationally and can be seen on her blog Bad Girl Chats.
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76 quotes
(Voice on television) Mom, can a douche make you feel more confident? (Sylvia) Not like a good stock portfolio.
(Television) Men are naturally more aggressive than women. (Sylvia) All the more reason to keep them locked up after dark.
(Sylvia) A cat who’s just been told that he’ll have to eat that special canned cat food that comes from the veterinarian for the rest of his life. (Cat) Shoot me now.
(Sylvia’s answering machine) Hi, at the sound of the beep please tell me what you like best about me.
(Sylvia) I'm staying in this tub until the Soviets pull out of Afghanistan.
(Sylvia to Venusian Gernif): What would happen if you wore a dress? Well, some people would invite you to parties. And some people would attempt to beat you to death.
(First woman)...Men lose their sense of humor as they get older...their brains shrink...So men will be getting grumpier, just as we're getting...(Second woman) Shorter.
(Television) Angry women beat up shoe salesman who posed as gynecologist. (Sylvia) I hate guys who do that.
(Cartoon title) A cat being cured of hairballs through a television ministry. (Voice on television) Place your right paw on the screen.
(Wicked witch hexing babies) Women of future generations will have undreamt of career opportunities. You two will use yours to despoil the environment.
(Television) A recent study concludes that women over 40 have statistically as much chance of getting killed by a terrorist as of getting married. (Sylvia) And would rather.
(Man in bar) The kind of woman I want just isn't around anymore. (Sylvia) Perhaps if you wait for a full moon.
(Man at dinner table) Bet you don't know what a male swan is called. (Woman at dinner table) Sure I do. A swine.
(Television) Being a woman is as much a state of mind as a state of being. (Sylvia) Right. You stop paying attention, you might turn into a tuna.
(Television) There's a special feeling about being a woman. You do so much for everyone around you. But some days (Sylvia) You realize you've been had.
(Sylvia) In the beginning Eve was alone in Eden. (Eve) Everything is so beautiful and amicable. (Serpent) I bet deep down, you wish you had an irritating companion.
(Man on television) The investment firm of Smith Barney: they make money the old-fashioned way--they earn it. (Sylvia) Right. The rest of us pick it off trees in the backyard.
(Voice on television) Honey, I love you, but I got to be moving on. (Sylvia) Break his kneecaps.
(Man on television) Rita, you must believe me, alien beings are among us. (Sylvia) Yeah, in public office.
(Woman on television) Frank, Frank, make me feel like a woman. (Man on television) Could you pick up my laundry?
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