264 quotes
I am of course notoriously hooked on cigarettes. I keep hoping the things will kill me. A fire at one end and a fool at the other.
Cold Turkey (2004)
It was a marvelous engine for doing violence to the spirit of thousands of laws without actually running afoul of so much as a city ordinance.
The Sirens of Titan (1959)
Humor is a way of coping with real trouble. … My next book [Slaughterhouse Five] is a comedy. It is about the largest massacre in the history of Europe.
It was an appalling thought, to be so well-integrated into the machinery of society and history as to be able to move in only one plane, and along one line.
Player Piano (1952)
He had only two moods: one suspicious and self-pitying, the other arrogant and boastful. The first mood applied when he was losing money. The second mood applied when he was making it.
Welcome to the Monkey House (1968)
The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers. The people don't acknowledge this. They claim membership in two imaginary parties, the Republicans and the Democrats, instead.
Wampeters, Foma & Granfalloons (1974)
It is almost always a mistake to mention Abraham Lincoln. He always steals the show.
A Man Without a Country (2005)
It is a gruesome Disneyland. Nobody is cute there.
Bluebeard (1987)
Mere opinions, in fact, were as likely to govern people's actions as hard evidence, and were subject to sudden reversals as hard evidence could never be.
Galápagos (1985)
Christianity and socialism alike, in fact, prescribe a society dedicated to the proposition that all men, women, and children are created equal and shall not starve.
A Man Without a Country (2005)
All through the day I'm so confident. That's why I'm such a good salesman, you know? I have confidence, and I look like I have confidence, and that gives other people confidence.
Happy Birthday, Wanda June (1970)
1. Find a subject you care about.
2. Do not ramble, though.
3. Keep it simple.
4. Have the guts to cut.
5. Sound like yourself.
6. Say what you mean to say.
7. Pity the readers.
Science Fictionisms (1995)
You want to know something? We are still in the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages — they haven't ended yet.
Deadeye Dick (1982)
I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.
We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.
If This Isn't Nice, What Is?: Advice for the Young (2013)
Well, here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why.
Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)
Hello, I am Wanda June. Today was going to be my birthday, but I was hit by an ice-cream truck before I could have my party.
Happy Birthday, Wanda June (1970)
Let us devote to unselfishness the frenzy we once gave gold and underpants.
Breakfast of Champions (1973)
Like most science-fiction writers, Trout knew almost nothing about science.
Breakfast of Champions (1973)
If God were alive today, he would have to be an atheist, because the excrement has hit the air-conditioning big time, big time.
A Man Without a Country (2005)