16 quotes
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that shit.
Brain Droppings (1997)
The piercing movement is off to a good start, and I like the idea behind it: self-esteem through self-mutilation. I've always said, when in doubt, punch a hole in yourself.
Brain Droppings (1997)
"One thing leads to another"? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
Brain Droppings (1997)
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
Brain Droppings (1997)
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
Brain Droppings (1997)
When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic- I'm an acrostic, the whole thing puzzles me.
Brain Droppings (1997)
We're all fucked. It helps to remember that.
Brain Droppings (1997)
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. (206)
Brain Droppings (1997)
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
Brain Droppings (1997)
Healthy does not mean "healthful." Healthy is a condition, healthful is a property. Vegetables aren't healthy, they're dead. No food is healthy. Unless you have an eggplant that's doing push-ups. Push-ups are healthful.
Brain Droppings (1998)
Try explaining Hitler to a kid.
Brain Droppings (1997)
I am perfectly willing to share the room with a fly, as long as he is patrolling that portion of the room I don't occupy. But if he starts that smart-ass fly shit, buzzing my head and repeatedly landing on my arm, he is engaging in high-risk behavior.
Brain Droppings (1997)
Don't make the same mistake twice seems to indicate three mistakes, doesn't it? First you make the mistake. Then you make the same mistake. Then you make the same mistake twice. If you simply say, "Don't make the same mistake," you'll avoid the first mistake.
Brain Droppings (1998)
In Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so if you want to kill a person, you have to take the subway to their house. And sometimes on the way, the train is delayed and you get impatient, so you have to kill someone on the subway. That's why there are so many subway murders; no one has a car.
Brain Droppings (1998)
Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Ephraim Zimbalist Jr. (243)
Brain Droppings (1997)
Meow means "woof" in cat.
Brain Droppings (1997)