13 quotes
"This is our Smeg fridge, the whole house is made of Smeg. We're made of Smeg, aren't we, Roy?" "Yes, dear."
Monster (2004)
"Well, you know what they say about John, anyway?"
Monster (2004)
What's going on? What do we do now? "Don't fuck anybody or you die! Never mind, here comes MC Hammer."
Monster (2004)
You're looking for a lump in a bag of lumps, that can take some time
Monster (2004)
I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
Monster (2004)
It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette... unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.
Monster (2004)
"What dya mean theres no fackin chips, I come ere on a plane, you cunt! I've got children ere, what am I spose to do with this fackin tomato fiasco."
Monster (2004)
When you're born, you have a finger up your nose, the other hand on your dick, and you get taller. And that is really it.
Monster (2004)
Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!"
Monster (2004)
EGGS! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
Monster (2004)
You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!
Monster (2004)
I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? Then I'm fucked!
Monster (2004)
This stage, if it hasn't already, probably will see a production of the Vagina Monologues. Which I cannot wait to see, because it sounds so fabulously fucking stupid. Everybody knows that if female genitalia could speak, it would sound exactly like Enya.
Monster (2004)