22 quotes
They have sheets of ham so large that if you bite out the middle, you've saved yourself the price of a poncho.
Like, Totally (2006)
It sounds like typewriters eating tin foil being kicked down the stairs.
Like, Totally (2006)
You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.
Like, Totally (2006)
Men look at breasts the way women look at babies. 'Aw, isn't that lovely.'.
Like, Totally (2006)
You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.
Like, Totally (2006)
German food is so bad, even Hitler was a vegetarian. "Would you like some more shtrudleghraf on your shamlw?" How appetising does that sound?
Like, Totally (2006)
Your nose hair... which is grey... is in my eye.
Like, Totally (2006)
Because their bones are growing, they can only sleep in certain positions, obviously. The crucifix and the swastika tend to be the most popular. Sometimes a combination of the two.
Like, Totally (2006)
Fruit... it's just God showing off. "Look at all the colours I know!"
Like, Totally (2006)
I'm quite a compulsive person—I only worked this out recently—I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.
Like, Totally (2006)
How small does your cock have to be, to make you walk into a car showroom and say: "Listen, I need something the size of a school, so people know I'm around."
Like, Totally (2006)
Well I’m here, you know? Your house is a medley of disgusting smells, there’s nothing to eat, everybody’s wearing bathrobes, there’s no bar, I can’t fuck anybody. Why am I here?
Like, Totally (2006)
And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to be the sort of people who haven't done that well with everybody else.
Like, Totally (2006)
If you are going to have an afterlife, why not just have a physical afterlife? Just come back as a tentacle with a set of lips looking for huge lumps of chocolate to fuck, it'd be much more reasonable.
Like, Totally (2006)
The candlelight dances off her mahogany-coloured skin as she un-robes, and she is smiling from the very middle of herself, and you look at them and you think "This is the one, this is it" and then—and then the cage comes down!
Like, Totally (2006)
Because that's still how Irish people are seen, as twinkly-eyed fuckers with a pig under their arm, high-stepping it around the world, going 'I'll paint your house now, but watch out, I might steal the ladder later, ohohoho!' Which is only half true!
Like, Totally (2006)
I got bored of the tedious conversations, talking to the dealer in a stairwell where you're not supposed to be, then going back to a depressing room and spending nine hours locked up going "eeerh", then going back to get more with what little money you have left.
Like, Totally (2006)
We want women to look like cakes! "
Like, Totally (2006)
When you say 'Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!' that's not what the child hears. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move... I'm locking the door now.'.
Like, Totally (2006)
Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what it was. I've remembered what it is again, but I've also forgotten. And that's really what adult life is like most of the time.
Like, Totally (2006)