Skip to content

Quotes from Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far) — Dave Barry

born 1947 United States

← All quotes by Dave Barry

3 quotes

In sports, the U.S. Open is not actually held because it's more efficient just to mail the check to Tiger Woods.

Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far) (2007)

In sports, Vijay Singh wins the Masters golf tournament and is awarded the coveted green jacket, which is quickly snatched away by angry Buick executives and given to Tiger Woods.

Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far) (2007)

Tiger Woods is kidnapped by rival golfers, sedated, handcuffed, placed in a straitjacket, wrapped in chains, and locked inside a trunk, which is then weighted with concrete blocks and dropped into the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean. He easily wins the PGA Championship.

Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far) (2007)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Dave Barry (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.