Chris Rock Quotes
born 1965 United States
Christopher Julius Rock (born February 7, 1965) is an American comedian, actor, screenwriter, producer and director.
- United States
- Actors
- Comedians
- Film directors
- Film producers
Also known as: Rock, Chris
Random Chris Rock quote
37 quotes
You can't beat white people, you can only knock them out.
There's black people, and there's niggers. And niggers have got to go. Every time black people wanna have a good time, ign'ant-ass niggers fuck it up.
Chris Rock: Bring the Pain (1996)
You can't be happy that fire cooks your food and be mad it burns your fingertips.
You won't be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.
I hope that Live Earth ends global warming the same way the Live Aid ended world poverty.
Our next presenter is the first woman to ever breast-feed an Apple – Gwyneth Paltrow.
Black Santa Claus caused more tears than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.
Jada, I love you. G.I. Jane 2, can't wait to see it, all right?
You mean to tell me that Jamaicans invented sugar, reggae and the best drug on Earth and the white man makes all the money!?
Never Scared (2005)
Comedy is the blues for people who can't sing.
You can fuck a woman with a diamond dick and make her cum ten times, and she'll still complain. "Why did you make me cum so hard? This diamond dick is cloudy, why didn't you go to Tiffany's?"
Alimony, that's what made OJ crack...after paying alimony OJ didn't score a touchdown in 20 years.
You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere.
Never Scared (2004)
Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!"
Bring the Pain (1996)
If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! "This is a rap killing. Let's go home!"
Never Scared (2004)
The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they're not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, "If you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl."
Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks
Oh, wow! Wow! Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me. [...] That was a... greatest night in the history of television, okay.
You mean to tell me that Hawaiians came up with pineapples, resorts, hula hoops, Magnum P.I. and the best damn punch in the world and they don't get no money from it!?
Never Scared (2005)
Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
Never Scared (2004)