37 quotes
Shit, last year the NAACP had a funeral for the word "nigger"! Well, tonight is Easter!
Kill the Messenger (2008)
Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.
Bring the Pain (1996)
I try never to brag but I'm probably the only person who has been on 60 Minutes twice and isn't dead.
Judd Apatow Interview (2014)
When I heard they were trying and get rid of the word "nigga", I told my accountant to buy 800 shares of "coon".
Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!
Never Scared (2004)
You learn more from fucking up than you do from success, unfortunately. And failure, if you don't let it defeat you, is what fuels your future success.
Judd Apatow Interview (2014)
They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.
"What's in the tea?" "Water, bitch!"
Never Scared (2004)
A black man failing black history... ain't that some sad shit..... cuz you know, fat people don't fail cooking!
Bring the Pain (1996)
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
I mean, they don't grade fathers. But if your daughter's a stripper, you fucked up.
Never Scared (2004)
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club and the sun is out, you got some problems!
Never Scared (2004)
We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a fucking lactose intolerance?!
Bring the Pain (1996)
At a concert supporting Katrina Relief, in reference to Kanye West's comment
Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check … is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!"
Never Scared (2004)
I don't give a fuck! So, what!? Motherfuck the tiger! I'd be shot in the tooth, motherfucker! I don't give a fuck about your bee-otches!
Never Scared (2005)
See, even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you won't have to go to no doctor to get it out, whoever shot you will take that bullet back! "I believe you got my property!"
Bigger and Blacker (1999)