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"Here's my man! It doesn't have to stay out and party with his guys!" "Here, let me see that...It doesn't seem to be able to pick up the fucking check, does it?"

— Sam Kinison

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More quotes by Sam Kinison

"I just got shot in the ass with an infected load of semen! Who's the smart-ass?"

How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?

HBO Special (1985)

"They beat us, they beat us, they made us do their BLOW!

There's always 30 or 40 Christians standing around, saying, "It's a shame that he has to die." And Jesus is saying, "Well, maybe I wouldn't have to if somebody would get a ladder and pair of pliers!!"

HBO Special (1985)

Today we're going to try and say his name...OH! OHHH! Can you even say a part of his name--OH! OHHH!"

Louder Than Hell (1986)

All Sam Kinison quotes →

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Sam Kinison (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.